My aim starting this retreat was to change one person’s life the way psychedelics changed mine. I am happy to say psychedelics have dramatically changed more than that and I will continue to follow this path for as long as time allows.
Firstly I must state that if anybody had to tell me that I would be hosting a psychedelic retreat just a few short years ago I would almost have certainly looked at them with a very puzzled look on my face and in no uncertain terms asked them what drugs they were taking.
Born in 1980 my parents’ generation had just come out of the ’60s, the “drug” fueled time in history of you know people loosing their minds on LSD, jumping out of windows and government banning all sorts of what were considered mind altering “drugs”. Being relatively naive in nature to this and bought up where drugs are bad and the ”just say no“ generation, well I have certainly learnt a lot.
I recall a time when an ex and I went camping and I ate a few cannabis cookies around my early 20’s and totally freaked out that I don’t do drugs and I was fuming to say the least. Amazingly at the same time it was not uncommon for us to go out on a Friday and have way to many drinks as an acceptable norm which looking back I really can’t see any logic to.
So in my late 30’s I took a job which required me to travel around 3 hours to work and back and in some sort of random coincidence my brother in law asked me what I do whilst driving and I said well “Listen to the radio”. Why don’t you listen to podcasts he said and I thought ok who is good to listen to and he mentioned Joe Rogan so I thought ok let us give it a go and the next day put my phone on Youtube, played a Joe Rogan podcast and true as anything it was Paul Stamets on well, mushrooms. Great a drug podcast I thought but here was what sounded to be a very educated individual with his life together, not a washout, drug addict, and he was talking about using psychedelics to treat PTSD, end of life, trauma, and a range of topics and medicinal mushrooms for a whole host of cancer fighting, Alzheimer’s assisting medicinal benefits. What was going on!, so I listened and thought maybe their is something more to this.
Well, I didn’t look down the rabbit hole I dove in head first listening to as much as I could and sitting here I am nearly in tears writing this as I can without a doubt say that these ancient medicinal plants have the potential to stir up such strong emotions within us that I really look and wonder where the world went so wrong in allowing something like alcohol to be sold on every street corner and some of these plants carrying a prison sentence if you are caught with them in your possession.
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
Ok, so having my brother the more free spirited of us and having tried numerous things and always saying you need to try this which obviously fell on deaf ears and my typical I am NOT a druggie attitude slowly wavered and so I began looking for a ceremony.
My brother gave me a number and well that was the beginning.
I met what people consider a Shamen/trip sitter/guide named *Keith. After the usual questioning and getting to know me a bit, we were on. I must say that I will be ever grateful to him for showing me the importance of the ceremony beforehand and how to be as respectful as possible to this amazing and yet very ancient medicine.
So a few weeks later, my intention was clear which was just to be a better person and after a week of cleansing eating we (my brother and I) were off. Needless to say my wife also very similar to me was pretty hesitant but let me go as over the past few months my temper and work stresses were getting a bit overbearing and I was possibly suffering from a bout of depression and meaningless direction of where my life was taking me. Not a seemingly depressed person by any standards to those who know me but sometimes life can really become very overwhelming.
THE BIG DAY
So the day finally arrived for my first ceremony, a wet, windy, just plain miserable day so we were all cooped up inside a large log cabin waiting for the other people to arrive. What absolutely shocked me was these were certainly not the people I ever expected to see. A CEO of a really large South African JSE listed company, a lawyer, and other people very far from what I assumed the type of people to do this kind of thing would actually be like.
So after the introduction, and a bit about intentions and why we were there we began. A 2 gram dried mushroom known as Mexican blue in warm water was handed out and we began, no talking (definitely not the raving, dancing trip fueled madness I think I may have been expecting) and you are here for personal growth.
So we drank the tea and a short while later felt a strange relaxing calm. I must say the 2g was definitely a let’s say lovely introduction to mushrooms but besides a feeling of giddiness and relaxation, I did not see all the things I had heard from research. The patterns etc were not quite there only a slight distortion from time to time. Now we were also lying in a cabin and eventually mother nature called and I needed to go to the bathroom which when I got there was locked so I decided to go outside.
The moment I turned the corner I looked at a few plants, well this was the Garden of Eden, I literally stood watching drops of rain water falling on a leaf for a good fifteen minutes. This is what it is all bout I thought to myself, reconnection, re-evaluation, and the days that followed everything seemed different somehow. The trees were brighter, the colour more vibrant and just a different frame of mind in general.
DMT
Next, after the mushrooms was DMT, a smokable psychedelic from of all places Australia. Now to put things in perspective I had youtubed a lot about DMT so I thought I knew more or less what to expect. Little did I know that 5 minutes later it would teach me I knew absolutely nothing :-).
“lets just say if this was a ride at Disneyland the line would be a mile long with everybody wanting to go on this ride”
Ok 3 breaths, one for the core of the earth. It sustains us and gives life, it protects us via its magnetic shield. Breath 2, for the world, it sustains life “things kinda go a bit wobbly from this stage” and finally a big breath for the Sun, it gives us life, heat and is a vital part of this world. and hold the DMT for as long as you can.
Ok so now at this stage everything you think you know, everything you have learnt or read about DMT kinda goes out the window. I was thrust into a 2D world, there was no 3D at all. The table in the courtyard was at the balcony railings at the table in front of me. What I can say is that an ultra HD tv would not even come close to the way you see things.
I was thrust into what can only be described as a painting. It was magic. All the people around me were parts of this canvas and came to life only when I looked at them. Now writing this out I must sound like an absolute crackhead but DMT is such a surreal experience it defies explanation.
When i came to I was puzzled, I walked into the garden and just had to settle my mind, what the hell just happened. As one of the guys of the group came over I asked how it was for them and the rest of the group. “rest of the group” he asked with a puzzled look, The third one is only doing it now. This completely blew my mind as I would swear that it was at the bare minimum an hour but it was literally 5 minutes. Time, life, expectations, ego, self, all go out the window and you feel completely at one with the world, mother nature and just life in general. This is why DMT is so revered, it changes the way you see things in such a profound manner it defies explanation.
Since then I have spread the word about these amazing little teachers and have read and listened to over 500 hours on their history as well as positive roles they can place in our lives. My story is just beginning. I took up the decision to begin a retreat as so many people I spoke to were at such a similar point in their lives to me and the interest is so amazing that I would love to show this to as many people as I possibly can who are open to the experience.